Wrong.

Silence. 

That’s all I hear. 

Either nobody cares to listen —

Or I have lost them all.

I feel like shit, too.

Why am I the one hated? 

I’ve done nothing wrong.

Friendships like that —

They tear at you until you’re 

Gone and you’re no longer living. 

I’ve been there before.

Nobody believes me since

It happens behind closed doors.

They see nothing wrong.

It’s not always physical. 

Manipulation doesn’t work 

Like that. I had to get out. 

I had to. I had to take control 

Of my own life. Because 

Since you didn’t notice —

Something was wrong.

So, this is a poem I wrote recently and I wanted to share it with all of you because I feel like whenever I write poetry, it's my best writing because it's raw and actually my feelings.

Why Does this Saturday Feel Like a Sunday?

This has been the longest Saturday of my life. It's felt like a Sunday. A really long Sunday that only happens when you're tired.

 And I have no idea why.

 I mean, last night, I went to a Halloween party and I danced and I took pictures and I went through a spook alley that really scared me, even though it was pretty tame. There weren't any ghosts. Like, what good is a haunted house without supernatural creatures? There was a freak show happening in one of the rooms, and then there was a Purge room, but since I haven't seen the movie, I didn't really get it. But it still was a little terrifying to be chased by guys carrying baseball bats-- especially because most of them had at least a foot on me, so you know. There's nothing scarier than being chased by a 6-foot tall college guy when you're 5-foot-nothing.

Maybe that's what made me so tired. I guess it is pretty exhausting to go to a giant Halloween party on campus. But I didn't even stay out that late. I was home by 12:30 this morning, and I woke up at nine, like any abnormal human being (hint: me).

My exhaustion may also have been caused by the girl I like showing up at the door to my friend's dorm last night while families were trick or treating in the dorms. That was kind of embarrassing for me because I answered the door and THERE SHE WAS (along with the rest of her friends). Of course, I freaked out, like any normal person with a crush on someone would, but at least it was internal... I think. I don't know. After the person they needed came to the door, I may or may not have hidden behind the door because I was ridiculously embarrassed, even though I don't think I really had to be.

But today has just felt like a lazy, lazy Sunday. If you've never experienced a lazy Sunday, that sucks. Lazy Sundays are most often good things. Like, you can just take a nap and it's no big deal, or you can read that book you've always wanted to read (if you like reading, that is). You can even binge watch "Gilmore Girls" on Netflix (because it's on Netflix now!!!!!!!!).

But when a lazy Sunday occurs on a Saturday, everything gets really mixed up. It's just felt like one big Sunday, and I really kind of hate it. I mean, I've been able to do my laundry and clean the apartment. Both are usually Sunday tasks for me, but tomorrow, I'm meeting up with a friend for lunch, so I can't really clean and do laundry because I'm sure I'll be spending a ton of time with her because I haven't seen her since before I went to France, which actually is a really long time, now that I think about it.

But it's just been an eternal Saturday. And I'm not really liking it. Maybe I'll go watch more "Gilmore Girls" and try to figure out what to eat for dinner that actually has protein in it.

Peace out!

Happiness and Other Such Things

I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head this week. It's not really surprising, considering it's been a pretty rough week and I'm sitting in a coffee shop enjoying some iced ginger peach tea and waiting on a delicious veggie sandwich, since I decided I'd do something nice for myself today. That-- and I can chew again (the dentist worked on my mouth for three hours on Monday. ick.), so I'm eating as many veggies as I can.

I guess a lot of thought today is what it means for me to be happy. Whoa, crazy topic, I know, but it's something really important to me right now. I mean, I'm in college and I'm supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Don't worry, I've got that figured out. I'm going into publishing.

But I'm not sure where I'm going with the rest of my life. I know I want a family, and I want my children to grow up in the one place I call home (which is France, by the way, if you're a recent reader).

 I'm still trying to figure out how to be happy with the life I have right now. So far, I've made a lot of friends, which is always great, and I've lost a few, too, but that comes with the territory of  growing up and figuring out how to be happy. I've gotten rid of toxic environments in my life, and that's helping a lot, but I also need to find my niche. What's nice about that, though, is I'm a pretty friendly person, so I think I should be able to find that place where I fit in perfectly.

And I know that place is somewhere. It may not be something I find for a while, but I'm not 100%  sure. It could be with other French majors, or it could be with some English minors or even Theatre majors (which is kind of a long shot. I love 'em, but boy, are they loud.). I actively participate in one club on campus, but that's because it holds my interests and it's populated by people like me, but I need to make friends with other people as well. Otherwise, I won't learn things outside of the classroom as well as in the classroom. Having discussions with people who have differing viewpoints is so important. Those conversations allow you to broaden your mind as well as give you things to think about (and sometimes they make you realize that maybe you're being an ass about something, which is always a good thing to learn).

But I just haven't found that place in my life where I'm happy with everything. And I know that's a difficult goal-- to be happy with everything in your life, but I think I can get there.

I also think that you can be happy with everything in your life and still move forward. I absolutely think that is possible. But I don't want to be content. Being content is something that stops you from moving forward because you're going to sit there thinking "yeah, this is okay. I can live with this."

But can you?

Can you live, knowing that there is so much more to be had in life? I wouldn't be able to. That's why I want to travel the world, to experience new things. I want to live my twenties single and fall in love with all of the wrong people and take the time to figure out who the hell I am. I want to make simple mistakes and learn from them. I want to grow and be me. My own self.

And I will do that. And I'm starting now by finding the things that make me happy and making sure that I'm surrounded by people who won't bring me down, but will support me as much as I will support them. That's what we need in this world. Be kind to each other, but make sure you're comfortable with the people around you as well. Be with people who care about you, not who they want you to be.

Don't be afraid to be you.

Growing into Music

Okay, odd for a post, I know, but some things just really make you want to talk about them, so I will.

For those of you who don't know, I love Hilary Duff. I grew up with her music and I still love it because how can you not?

And I've been listening to her last album, Dignity, for the last little while, and it makes a lot more sense than it did to me when I was 11 years old. Dignity was released about seven years ago, when Hilary was 20-ish, and now that I'm almost 19, the CD makes a whole lot more sense.

I mean, most of her stuff has made more and more sense to me as I've grown up, like Metamorphosis, which came out when I was seven, started making  more sense when I was 15-ish. I mean, I had already loved the music, but when I was finally a teenager, the songs clicked.

That's what I'm experiencing with Dignity right now. So many of the songs relate to my current situation and it's kind of amazing. I guess I'm just growing into the music like I did with all of Hilary Duff's other music.

It's weird and cool at the same time, and I really don't know what else to say, so peace out!

A Brief Update

Hey, guys!

So, college is really busy! I've discovered new musicals and made new friends.

Okay, so I am just going to start with the friends. Most of the friends I've made have come from my acting class because theatre kids bond with each other. There's some people I could live without, but don't we all have people like that in our lives? But I've made a few good friends already, probably mostly the people in my group for Hamlet (we're performing on Friday and I'm playing Ophelia). We just all really like each other and it's really fun to work with them because there's this amazing element of compromise and wanting to make our performance the best we can, and it's just super easy to get along with all of them.

Okay, musicals. So far this semester, I've really fallen in love with Heathers, Spring Awakening, and Jersey Boys. I'll admit that I'm a little late to the Heathers party, but when the craze was happening, I was in France and not really paying a lot of attention to stuff happening here, so now I'm just catching up and I absolutely love it and I just need more of it in my life. I've liked Spring Awakening for a really long time, but I finally decided to pay it the attention it deserves and I am totally in love with this musical. Like, it's so raw and beautiful and I realize that both Heathers and Spring Awakening have high-school age characters, and considering that I've just graduated from high school, they're both relatable shows, and they're both really excellent.

And I really fell in love with Jersey Boys this summer when I got to see it in Contis. I don't really know why I love it so much, but I really do, and that's all I have to say on the matter right now.

That's all for now, I guess!
Peace out!

Cheerios and American Sonnets

By the title, you have probably already figured out what I'm going to talk about. If not, you're about to find out!

Today, Billy Collins came to campus and gave a poetry reading. It was one of the coolest experiences of my whole life because he's my favorite poet, like, ever. He's spectacular, and today I got to be in the same room as him.

I was really nervous that I wouldn't make it to the convocation because I had a class during the time it was happening, but lucky for me, this is college, and my professor let us leave early since we had more stuff happening this week (like a performance tomorrow, ack!). So, I actually made it to the Great Hall, where it was happening, but of course, it was completely full, and the overflow room was full, too. I was really disappointed because I was so excited to see Billy Collins, but they told us that we could stand outside the doors to the Great Hall and listen.

And then, after the pledge, we were told we could go stand along the walls of the room. And that, dear readers, is how I got my first glimpse of Billy Collins. He read a poem commemorating 9/11, then there were some speeches, and then, he got to go up and read more poems! It was so cool. He read "Cheerios", "The Lanyard" (my absolute favorite), and a bunch of others that just reminded me why I really like Billy Collins. It's because his poems are, as he said today, "public language". He doesn't use a lot of figurative language in his poetry. It is really just observation, and I love the simplicity of the poetry because it doesn't try to be poetic, it is because of the way he writes.

I'm just super happy that I got to breathe the same air as Billy Collins today. I did have to leave early because I had a dress rehearsal for tomorrow's performance, but just being there for the hour that I could was so special, and I'll always remember being a college freshman and being able to be in the presence of my favorite poet and listening to him read the poems and tell the stories behind them.

That's all for now!
Peace out!

Happy September First!

Yes, I am in college. No, I am not too old to be celebrating September first.

IT'S HARRY POTTER DAY YOU GUYS! LET'S ALL CELEBRATE! I AM SO HAPPY. HARRY POTTER IS MY CHILDHOOD.

Here, let's all get on the Hogwarts Express together.

Okay, so yeah, it's September first.

Also, I've been getting caught up on Welcome To Night Vale, and I'm in love with it as much as ever. And Cecil and Carlos are just as adorable as ever, and I'm still wishing I had been able to go to Night Vale Live when it was here, but I was in France. And now that it's going to France, I can't be there, so I'm not really sure how I feel about that. I just want to go back to France. Like, take me back to the most beautiful place on earth.

In order: Honfleur, The Pyrenees, The Pyrenees, Bayonne.

Gorgeous, no?

I want to go back so badly.

Also, I'm pretty much hooked on Mary Lambert's new song Secrets. 

Here's a link if you want to hear it

It's pretty fantastic. Also, I've been watching a lot of episodes of My Drunk Kitchen. Hannah Hart is the bomb.

Okay, enough, I guess. Happy Harry Potter Day!

Two Weeks Home

So, it's really odd to think that I've been home from France for about two weeks. I'm a couple of days over, but we'll count it. It's actually been two weeks and two and a half days. But it feels so weird to actually be somewhere there's no language barrier, even if that's not really a problem for me anymore. But it feels so weird to be back in American culture, where there's no such thing as a vacation. Vacations are important and we need to learn that. And everyone is so loud and guys catcall while you're walking down the street.

I prefer France. I miss France. France is home. Everyone is respectful of others and we're all allowed to do our own thing (except sing Let it Go in the Disney Store. Apparently that's not allowed, even if Idina's powerhouse vocals are filling the store. It turns out that scares people). I just miss the culture where it's cool if you wear a bikini to the beach, even if you have the whitest skin to ever white because everyone's just there to enjoy the sun and sand. It's just different, and I love it so much and I wish I could go back right now. But if I was in France right now, I wouldn't have made friends with Laura, Louise, Guillame, and Francois. All four of them are from France, and I'm not really sure how I found them, but I will always hold onto that part of me that is France, and if that means I just make friends with French people, then I make friends with French people.

I really want to go back, though. I miss my family and speaking French all the time. Now when I speak French, people don't understand, and that is so frustrating for me. Once it gets about past five o'clock, I automatically transfer into French a lot of the time because I'm tired and it just feels natural to speak in a language that's not the one I learned as a child. French feels more natural to me, which I suppose is a little odd, but I think that as you get older and learn languages, you kind of find the one that fits you, and for me, that's French. I enjoy it so much and it sounds so much better than English to me. I don't know. French is just that escape for me.

On Last Weeks

For the past couple of days, I've been thinking about last weeks. I don't mean the week before this one or anything like that. I mean the last few days in a familiar place.

My last week in the US was filled with tears and goodbyes I had to make right then because I only had a week in between graduation and my flight. It was a crazy week. I had almost no time to myself in between work and packing and making sure I had done everything on my "before you leave forever" list. I knew as soon as I got home, I'd be moving into my apartment and wouldn't come home until Christmas.

But I look back and realize how lucky I was to have this opportunity. How lucky I am. I speak French now, and I'm much better at it than I was when I got here two months ago. I've seen the beaches where the Allied forces landed to liberate France during World War II. I've been to the beaches in the south of France. I've hiked the Pyrénées.

But most of all, I've grown. I have come a long way from the timid high school graduate I was. I am now so much more confident in myself, and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to. I am a young woman with dreams and ways to achieve them.

I am not ready to leave France. I know that when I first got here, I couldn't wait to go home. I was always scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. I wanted to count down every Sunday until the tenth of August, so that I would know when I only had three days left. Now I only have six days and I am not ready.

Even with all of the tears I've shed here, I know they were all for a good reason. Even when I panicked at a barbecue and then was served seafood. Even when I was exhausted and in a new unfamiliar place. Even when I'd only been away from home for a week and I was ready to go home then. Each of those moments helped me grow into the young woman I am today. And I am so grateful for them.

I also know that I came to live with a family I've know for eight years, but still barely knew because I'd only spent four days with them the last time I was in France. I knew they loved me already, but coming into their home was so amazing. They took me on as another daughter, accepted me immediately for who I was two months ago,  and they still love me today. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything because of the growth I've experienced.

And I know there were moments when I froze up and forgot all of the French I know at any given time, but that's to be expected. It's hard to learn another language and speak it on a regular basis when you're still not sure of grammar concepts or which words are correct for different contexts, but I know that as I continue to study and speak, it will come more easily.

I still can't believe this is my last week. In a week, I will be back home with my sisters and brother. I'll have two dogs instead of three cats. I won't have my own room (only because my siblings decided they could just take my room so they could all have their own). I'll be able to sing without worrying about someone hearing me and making me nervous. I'll be within about 20 minutes of most of my friends. I'll be with my parents. I'll have a desk that I put my feet on when I write (it's more comfortable that way).

But I know I won't be the same me. I am so different from the girl who moved to France exactly a week after she graduated from high school. I am now a young woman who has confidence.

This is what a last week is. It is looking at where you started because you enjoy seeing the changes that have taken place.

So I am grateful to be in France, and I know that it is time to move to the next adventure. But not for another week.


Peace out!

Donc, J'habite en France

Ouais. Qu'est que vous voyez ici c'est vrai. J'habite en France! Whoa! It's only for the summer, though because I start college in a month! I love France, let me just say that. But the keyboard is really hard to get used to and my computer is dead because I forgot the correct adaptor, so that's why I have not posted. Plus the app is being a total asswaffle right now, so this is what you get.

I live in a tiny village in Normandy right now, but tomorrow I'm leaving on vacation for three weeks. It's going to be really really fun because we're going to the south of France for a week, then the Pyrenees for a week and then back to the south for a little bit. Then we have a week of tourist-y stuff and then I go home and get to find out what I need to purchase for the college two days before I'm supposed to be down there! Yay! Go Marley! Yeah, I'm not stressed at all about having two days to get packed and ready for the next four years of my life before I come back to the beautiful land of France. For serious, though, I don't want to come home.

But I have to because if I wanted to stay longer, I'd have to go home anyway to get all of that legal stuff out of the way. Anyway, I love you all, and I'll talk to you more in depth when I am not confused by my keyboard.

Peace Out!

the Moment after Impact

It's hard to forget every moment of the crash. It plays in slow motion, never ending, even weeks after it happened. It starts fine, you're with friends and you are on your way to a performance, and you're having fun. You're in the passenger seat talking to the people behind you because you're part of a big, singing family. Someone pulls out a can of soda before an intersection, and you think of a joke you could tell, but none of the words get said as you cross into the intersection on a yellow light, and it turns red once you're in. You can't stop in the middle of an intersection, that's just more cause for an accident. Another car turns left in front of you, convinced you're going to stop. The can of soda explodes right before the hit.

It's the moment after impact -- that's the scariest part. You watch as the dust settles while you take inventory. Do I still have two arms, two legs? Do I still have fingers and toes? Can I see? Can I hear? When you've checked all of that off, you move on to your pain index. What hurts? At first you don't notice anything. The pain comes later, when you're looking at the aftermath and actually seeing what happened to you.

Everything continues to move slowly through time, you give your phone to the driver so they can call the police. You unbuckle your seat belt and climb out of the car, already hearing sirens in the distance. You bite back your anxiety, even though you want to crumble. When you can get to your phone, you call your parents, who happen to be in an airport in the next state, getting on their flight home. Nobody wants to hear from their child that they've been in an accident, especially when they're an hour-long flight away. This is when you start to cry, to let all of the anxiety wash over you.

This is when the pain comes. You finally sit down on the grass at the gas station that's on the corner and you start to notice your injuries. The seat belt rash, of course, is a given, but there's a sharp pain in your right shoulder blade, and it won't go away. You notice that you can see, but you can't actually see because your glasses are missing. You sit while the EMT's ask questions: name, birth date, address, social security, medical conditions, injuries sustained from the collision. It feels like you're moving through molasses, trying to answer the rapid-fire questions. And even the simplest question becomes difficult because you're under duress and in shock. Someone puts a hand on you and you gasp in pain. It feels like a break, even though it may not be.

Parents rush to the scene, one after another. First, for the driver of the other car, then the driver of your car. You wait patiently for your grandma because your parents are gone. Then, the person who was sitting behind you -- their parent comes. You sign off on your medical release because you are old enough and you don't want to take the ambulance to the hospital. You'll go when your mom gets home. You sit there, helpless to do anything about your situation. Everyone checks on you, and a bystander continues to tell people that you have a medical condition that is similar to the one you actually have. Finally, your grandma shows up at the scene, ready to take you to her house so you can wait for your parents. But you have to talk to the police about what happened; you have to tell them what injuries you've sustained.

It's hard to forget every moment of a crash because it's all so vivid. It's a nightmare that really happened.

On Pizza and Other Such Things

Pizza incorporates so many things I love.

It is:

• A theatre piece
• A chemical equation
• The ability to create a story
• And anything else you might be able to think of

A while ago, when I was catering an event at Sundance, it occurred to me that Pizza is a dance. I know that seems a little odd, but that's what it is. It's a dance that incorporates the chemistry and theatricality of the craft. I am always a performer when I'm making pizza, even if I sometimes struggle with finding that part of myself to display while concentrating because I'm still Marley and I don't feel like I'm playing a part, even though I am. I am playing Pizza Girl.

It all starts at the counter. The person who takes the orders. They begin the dance, or reaction, depending on the event. Most of the time, I like to see it as a dance because it sounds more beautiful, even though chemical reactions are cooler. But that's where it begins. It then transfers over to the person stretching the pizza dough, which is my favorite thing to do. I love stretching pizza dough.

Crap, I lost my train of thought.

Fiddler, The Poisonwood Bible, Movies, and Other Such Things

Hello, everyone!

Um, Fiddler is over and I miss it. A lot. It was such an amazing experience, and I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to play such an emotionally complex character. She really helped me find myself as well.

I've made my decision about college! Southern Utah University for me! I'm excited, but I just don't know what I want to major in. It's a tie between English and Theatre. Maybe I'll do both. I'm not sure yet. Gosh, decision making is hard.

I'm still as obsessed as ever with Supernatural. More so as I've noticed foreshadowing from previous seasons coming to fruition in this one. This season sucks, but at least I have enough to keep myself invested.

Yesterday, I hit an Eb6. That's exciting. What's even better is it had vibrato in the sound instead of just a screech, which is something it has been for a long time. I'm very proud of that note because it means I could totally play Christine Daae if I wanted to.

Iced coffee is just glorified cold coffee. That's a fact.

I am going to see my best friend Marissa in Fiddler this Friday! I'm excited because she's playing Chava, too!

I'm slowly drifting away from Doctor Who. It just doesn't intrigue me anymore.

I'm not really excited for Divergent. It's going to be great, but all I care about is TFiOS. And I want more Harry Potter, which is a thing that's actually happening because of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I'm so excited! Oh, and the HP stage play that JKR is doing? Heck yeah.

I read The Poisonwood Bible. I loved it. So much. I even have theories about it. Like Orleanna having a miscarriage in the Congo. I have textual evidence to support it, but nobody else has thought about it, so I don't even know if that's an okay theory to have, even though it makes sense to me with Orleanna mentioning an egg getting stolen from her and also her depression. Just a theory, but who knows.

I'm reading Pride and Prejudice. I don't like it at all. I've tried reading it so many times and each time, I just can't get through it. I need to figure it out because it's an assignment for my Lit class.

I'm competing with my friend, Ward in the school-wide reading bingo competition. We're both going for blackout. I hope I can get it done. I think I can, but I guess we'll see.

I don't even know what points I'm trying to get across here.

I went on a trip to Colorado last month! It was super duper awesome and I had a lot of fun and also made a lot of decisions about the rest of my life and stuff.

I'm doing the Poetography Project at my school, which is really fun. I am enjoying photography and stuff. It's way awesome.

Choir tour is coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm excited to go to San Diego!

I went on a date. That was fun. And also a little terrifying. If anyone ever decides to fly kites in a field right by a cemetery at night, say no and run away.

It's awfully scary.

I don't know what else to say. I'm not really frustrated with anything I guess.

No, I am, but that's more suited for talking about, not typing about. It's for certain ears only and yeah.

OH! I've put together some closet cosplays! I should probably do them, then post pictures, because they're really fun! I can give a list.

• Samantha Winchester (genderbent Sam Winchester)
• Joan Watson (John Watson)
• Molly Hooper
• Meg Masters
• Ginny Weasley
• Ghostfacers! (both of them)
• Charlie Bradbury (especially today)

I guess that's it. If anyone has any ideas for who I could cosplay, here's my face:

Okie dokie, lovelies! This is where I sign off! Have a lovely Sunday!

Peace out!

On Firsts and Other Such Things

I live in a fictional world. Let's get that straight right off the bat. I believe that someday, my Prince Charming will come to sweep me off my feet.

However, I feel like it can't happen because for some reason, I'm like an undesirable person or something, even though I know I'm totally not(Did that sound vain? I hope not. I am pretty, though.).

My friend Mikayla, who was talking about this earlier(post can be found here: x), made me think about a lot of "Firsts" in my life, namely my first date and my first kiss, both of which turned out horrendously- more on that later. Like, I've been asked on a whopping total of TWO dates. And I have also been asked to two dances, so I've been asked for my fair share of things, but just once I'd like to go on a date with someone I haven't been to a dance with. It's frustrating.

So, I might as well give you all a rundown on my two firsts.

Date: This was Homecoming my sophomore year. I thought my date was a nice guy until we got to dinner and all he talked about was himself. That was fun. Then at the dance, he tried to kiss me, and then asked me to be his girlfriend. That was so much fun. I said no, and after that, he transferred schools. So, that was an interesting first date experience.

Kiss: OH THIS WAS AWFUL BUT ALSO AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH FEELING TO PICK. Anyway, it was Homecoming of this year, and I was going with one of the leads in the school play, lucky me. Anyway, the night before, at the Homecoming game, he was basically kissing every girl in the cast of the show. I seriously was not even up for it at all, even though I was in the cast and well, 'everyone was doing it'. At around halftime, my lovely friends (seriously, they're amazing even though I was super duper embarrassed by them for this) called him over and told him to kiss me, which he did. But after that, he basically wrote it off, even though I liked him at the beginning of the year. Then I realized that he's a real jerk and well, that's that.

But honestly, I hate being the one who has to ask someone to go on a date with me. Maybe it'll change when I'm in college and I'm more mature and stuff. I dunno. I just want to be asked on a date for once, even though I've been asked on two.

But like I said, I live in fiction,and I definitely think that guys should do the first initiation of stuff because to me, it just makes sense. I've done most of the asking in my few years of dating, so why can't they?

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rant.

Peace out.

Adventures in Anatevka (Part Three)

I GOT MY COSTUME AND IT LOOKS GREAT!

I finally feel like Chava now, rather than I'm just playing her. It's so much easier to melt into the character now that I have a costume. I am Chava now. I'm not just playing her.

At least, that's how it feels in the costume. I know I'm still Marley. Don't worry.

I'm sorry I don't have much to write about. I guess I just can't quite put into words how amazing this experience has been.

Adventures in Anatevka (Part Two)

So, it's been what, two weeks since I last updated?

I think so.

Anyway, Fiddler is going really, really well! We just finished our second run through of the show... as of yesterday. I'm loving this so much. Like, it's such a really great experience, and it's been so great for me, feelings-wise because I leave rehearsal every day feeling so amazing, which isn't something I've really been feeling lately. Like, I've been feeling great otherwise, but there's just something about theatre that makes me so happy.

I love it so much that I'm going to minor in acting when I go to college in the fall. Theatre and English are my true loves, so yeah.

I'm so sorry I've resorted to horrible writing. It's just all of these thoughts need to come out and here they are.

Anyway, Fiddler.

Fiddler is just a super amazing experience and I would not trade it for anything in the world.

Adventures In Anatevka (Part One)

All right, ladies and gents, it's time for me to finally let you all know what's going on in my life. I'm playing Chava in my school's production of Fiddler on the Roof. It's a super-challenging role, and I'm way excited about it.

**Side note, I'm listening to Sabbath Prayer right now, and Tevye and Golde ask for their daughters to be protected from the strangers' ways. Yeah, Chava does not follow that well.

Anyway, things are pretty great in my world of things. I've decided to update at least once a week through the Fiddler process because I want to be able to keep this with me forever, and what better way to do that than on the interwebs?

So, we've just started our second week of rehearsal, which means that we're almost finished with our first run-through of the show. Today we did the scene where Chava tries really hard convince her papa to let her marry Fyedka, which as you all know, totally doesn't work.

Poor Chava.

But this is kind of the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm enjoying this so much.

That's all for right now!
Peace out!

Super-Cute Poem

So, today I wrote a poem. My cute little sister found it and was teasing me about it. She was all, "You were writing a thing about the boy you like." I laughed because, yes, it is about my crush. Go figure. It's super-cute and now I will share it with you, dear interwebs. Here goes.

Super-Cute Poem

What I want
Is to explore you.
Not in the way
Most people think.

But moment
By moment,
To know what makes you
Happy
Sad
Angry
Giddy
You.

I want to know
How you think,
What your favorite color is,
And if you prefer
Dusk to dawn.

But most of all,
I want to know why.
Why you picked me 
of all people.

What I want
Is to explore you.
Not in the way
Most people think.

-Marley Jayne

Hold your snapping, please. Seriously. It scares me. For cereal. That's not a joke. I really am terrified of snapping. You may applaud, though, however inappropriate that may be. I'll allow it.

That's it, lovelies!

Peace out!

Crushes

All right, folks. Time to strap in before we go for a ride on the Marley's Emotional roller coaster.

Things that are happening: I have a crush.

Other things that are happening: Crush likes me back

Let me tell you, I've had a very adventurous few days with this whole crush thing. First, one of my good friends guessed and got hung up on someone because the person I have a crush on and this other person have the (sort of) same-colored hair. I literally had to spell it out for my friend. That was rather amusing (I love you, Julie!).

Then... another one of my good friends decided to guess as well, and that got a little wild because said person continued to ask if it was them, then ask for their prize. They got a lot of gold stars, don't worry. And they also got quite a few laughs out of me, and decided that I could kill them easily, which I find hard to believe. Ah, well.

And then, this morning... crush texted me and asked if I had stayed up until three, but really it was two, but 

who cares? Anyway, crush begins to ask me if I had stayed up talking to said people about things involving crushes. Great. Well, I tried really hard to be awesome and totally coy and blah blah blah, and then... you've probably guessed.

CRUSH STARTS GUESSING WHO MY CRUSH IS.

So, that went on, and then crush let on that they were deliberately being thick because they knew. They knew the moment I started being super vague in my answers. So, there's that. Well, it turns out that crush also likes me back,which is a huge first for me. Through all of my years of crushes, my crushes have never liked me back. I am so happy. You guys have no idea.

However, I have no idea if this means anything. I don't know if I would rather stay in mutual like or make something of it. Also, crush is a junior and I am a senior, so there's that. 

Hopefully things will just go as the universe would like them to go. I may end up with a significant other, I might not. We'll see.

I know my friends are betting on it...

Peace out, lovelies!