My last week in the US was filled with tears and goodbyes I had to make right then because I only had a week in between graduation and my flight. It was a crazy week. I had almost no time to myself in between work and packing and making sure I had done everything on my "before you leave forever" list. I knew as soon as I got home, I'd be moving into my apartment and wouldn't come home until Christmas.
But I look back and realize how lucky I was to have this opportunity. How lucky I am. I speak French now, and I'm much better at it than I was when I got here two months ago. I've seen the beaches where the Allied forces landed to liberate France during World War II. I've been to the beaches in the south of France. I've hiked the Pyrénées.
But most of all, I've grown. I have come a long way from the timid high school graduate I was. I am now so much more confident in myself, and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to. I am a young woman with dreams and ways to achieve them.
I am not ready to leave France. I know that when I first got here, I couldn't wait to go home. I was always scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. I wanted to count down every Sunday until the tenth of August, so that I would know when I only had three days left. Now I only have six days and I am not ready.
Even with all of the tears I've shed here, I know they were all for a good reason. Even when I panicked at a barbecue and then was served seafood. Even when I was exhausted and in a new unfamiliar place. Even when I'd only been away from home for a week and I was ready to go home then. Each of those moments helped me grow into the young woman I am today. And I am so grateful for them.
I also know that I came to live with a family I've know for eight years, but still barely knew because I'd only spent four days with them the last time I was in France. I knew they loved me already, but coming into their home was so amazing. They took me on as another daughter, accepted me immediately for who I was two months ago, and they still love me today. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything because of the growth I've experienced.
And I know there were moments when I froze up and forgot all of the French I know at any given time, but that's to be expected. It's hard to learn another language and speak it on a regular basis when you're still not sure of grammar concepts or which words are correct for different contexts, but I know that as I continue to study and speak, it will come more easily.
I still can't believe this is my last week. In a week, I will be back home with my sisters and brother. I'll have two dogs instead of three cats. I won't have my own room (only because my siblings decided they could just take my room so they could all have their own). I'll be able to sing without worrying about someone hearing me and making me nervous. I'll be within about 20 minutes of most of my friends. I'll be with my parents. I'll have a desk that I put my feet on when I write (it's more comfortable that way).
But I know I won't be the same me. I am so different from the girl who moved to France exactly a week after she graduated from high school. I am now a young woman who has confidence.
This is what a last week is. It is looking at where you started because you enjoy seeing the changes that have taken place.
So I am grateful to be in France, and I know that it is time to move to the next adventure. But not for another week.
Peace out!
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