Happiness and Other Such Things

I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head this week. It's not really surprising, considering it's been a pretty rough week and I'm sitting in a coffee shop enjoying some iced ginger peach tea and waiting on a delicious veggie sandwich, since I decided I'd do something nice for myself today. That-- and I can chew again (the dentist worked on my mouth for three hours on Monday. ick.), so I'm eating as many veggies as I can.

I guess a lot of thought today is what it means for me to be happy. Whoa, crazy topic, I know, but it's something really important to me right now. I mean, I'm in college and I'm supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Don't worry, I've got that figured out. I'm going into publishing.

But I'm not sure where I'm going with the rest of my life. I know I want a family, and I want my children to grow up in the one place I call home (which is France, by the way, if you're a recent reader).

 I'm still trying to figure out how to be happy with the life I have right now. So far, I've made a lot of friends, which is always great, and I've lost a few, too, but that comes with the territory of  growing up and figuring out how to be happy. I've gotten rid of toxic environments in my life, and that's helping a lot, but I also need to find my niche. What's nice about that, though, is I'm a pretty friendly person, so I think I should be able to find that place where I fit in perfectly.

And I know that place is somewhere. It may not be something I find for a while, but I'm not 100%  sure. It could be with other French majors, or it could be with some English minors or even Theatre majors (which is kind of a long shot. I love 'em, but boy, are they loud.). I actively participate in one club on campus, but that's because it holds my interests and it's populated by people like me, but I need to make friends with other people as well. Otherwise, I won't learn things outside of the classroom as well as in the classroom. Having discussions with people who have differing viewpoints is so important. Those conversations allow you to broaden your mind as well as give you things to think about (and sometimes they make you realize that maybe you're being an ass about something, which is always a good thing to learn).

But I just haven't found that place in my life where I'm happy with everything. And I know that's a difficult goal-- to be happy with everything in your life, but I think I can get there.

I also think that you can be happy with everything in your life and still move forward. I absolutely think that is possible. But I don't want to be content. Being content is something that stops you from moving forward because you're going to sit there thinking "yeah, this is okay. I can live with this."

But can you?

Can you live, knowing that there is so much more to be had in life? I wouldn't be able to. That's why I want to travel the world, to experience new things. I want to live my twenties single and fall in love with all of the wrong people and take the time to figure out who the hell I am. I want to make simple mistakes and learn from them. I want to grow and be me. My own self.

And I will do that. And I'm starting now by finding the things that make me happy and making sure that I'm surrounded by people who won't bring me down, but will support me as much as I will support them. That's what we need in this world. Be kind to each other, but make sure you're comfortable with the people around you as well. Be with people who care about you, not who they want you to be.

Don't be afraid to be you.