I'm really bad at this

I'm sorry that this is how often I post.

I have an excuse, but you probably don't care. Here it is anyway: I've been working my butt off.

Last night, I finally finished a post that I've been working on for a while because I'm tired of the normal reaction people give when they find out anyone is an artist. Everyone has their dreams. DON'T FREAKING CRUSH THEM, OKAY?

Sorry, I'm just really upset by the whole, "yeah, whatever" type of responses.

I had someone at work look at me funny when they found out that I'm a writer. He said, "What're you gonna do? Write books?" My answer, "Yep." I looked at him expectantly, waiting for the laugh, and it came. He then proceeded to tell me that his major in school was as far from that as possible.

What did that have to do with anything? He said that what he did was hard, and I bit my tongue because writing is HARD. He said there were rules and it was structured and then proceeded to tell me that basically, he was superior because you know, math.

IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. I then proceeded to inform him that there are a lot of rules to writing that you can break on occasion, but you really shouldn't. Everyone knocks writing because it's supposed to be easy. but it isn't. It's probably one of the most challenging things to do because it's so structured, and if you're going to write fiction... PLOT. What's a story without a plot? Sure math and science are exact and take a lot of work, but so does writing.

I essentially described writing fiction as "a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff" because that's exactly what it is. Thank you, Mr. David Tennant for that delightful quote.

Oh, it feels nice to use a GIF. And look at the adorableness that is David Tennant. awwww.

Everything he does is just adorable.

Okay, I'm signing off for tonight. I love you all!

I Am A Writer

My favorite thing is getting people's reactions.

"Oh, you're a writer? How nice."

Yeah, it's really nice. It's really nice when I get thrown onto the pile of "Ha, good luck" careers.

Writers, dancers, musicians, artists, actors, singers. It's the same for all of us. We get laughed at behind our backs because what we love is considered a "nice dream".

It's a struggle. It's a terrible struggle that leaves me feeling hopeless a lot of the time. I write, but it's terrible, sometimes downright laughable. My writing, though it has progressed a lot during the past few years of school still sucks. Honestly.

But there's one person who thinks otherwise. Sometimes, it's two or three people who think otherwise. And that makes a difference. It makes a difference in how I perceive my own writing. I begin to realize that, hey, maybe it is all right and it's not a piece of $#%^.

It's like when I started writing for myself. I realized that I could write whatever the hell I want and nobody can say anything about it because it belongs to me, and that's okay.

Steven Moffat has said that the only way to write is to write for yourself. He's gotten a lot of hate for it because he's the head writer of Doctor Who, and fans want to see a lot on the show.

At first I didn't understand why he said that, but now I do because that really is the only way to write. To let it all be for myself, rather than for someone else. Sure, I write things for people sometimes, but I'm still in charge and whatever they want to see will happen, but I'm the one guiding it, so it may not happen how they'd like it to.

I don't really know how well I'm going to progress with what I want to do. But I don't want to write a book anymore. I've done that. Yeah, it was a horrible book, but I did what I had planned to do before I turned sixteen. I wrote a damn book.

Am I going to let people read it? Sure, but not my parents. I'll let my friends take it and pick it apart and laugh at me because I even laugh at how it was definitely the "next Twilight". There's no vampires or werewolves in the book, but the plot took a back seat to the romance, and that's something I shouldn't have done. But I wrote it, and I'm really proud of that.

Now, I write smatterings of everything. A little poetry, a little bit of fiction, a little non-fiction, a lot of journaling. It feels so amazing to get the words on paper and to just write and let it all flow out of me.

Maybe someday I'll write a memoir. I've already started it, and it's been a struggle. But the reward of realizing that someday people might read it and say, "wow, I really look up to her," is enough to keep me going for the sweet taste of victory.

But maybe I won't ever get published. That's okay, as long as I'm doing what I love.

And what I love is writing.